What "Being a parent" means to me

Being a parent for these 3 years makes me understand why people said that it is a hard thing to do. There are so many saying that being a parent is hard because there’s no school to teach us how to be a good parent. So, being a parent means constant learning progress that will never stop. The thing that we learn today maybe not be suitable for tomorrow, but who knows months later? Maybe we just need to wait and see.

Being a parent is hard, like, reaaalllyyyyyyy hard. But in the same time, it is one of the happiest things that can happen in someone’s life. Without any sugar-coating- words, it’s pretty sure that many people think it is the hardest and the most wonderful thing in life.

Being a parent makes me realize many things that I never imagine I would feel when I’m still single. And here's a few things that I want to share, that being a parent means :

Overthinking constantly

We’re not thinking just for today or tomorrow, but many years ahead. Starts from what menu for today that can bring to “Is it healthy? Is it enough for my child’s growth?” or after the madness that makes you yell to your children that can make you question yourself “Is he/she hurts by my words? Will it becomes wounds that will affect their emotion development?” or after buying some “quite pricey” item that you want sooo much for months, sometimes it will bring to “Is it worth? Is it okay for me to buy it, or I should’ve put the money into their education insurance?” And so on…

My dream? What is it again?

Before becoming a parent, we’re someone who has so many dreams that we want to achieve, and maybe there’s still a dream that we still want to make even when we are already being a parent. Of course, it’s normal if we still have a desire of achieving it, someday. Maybe, for now, the priority changes. Your dream change to family-relate things, and maybe, for now your child’s needs is what’s important. That one dream about master's degree, maybe, can’t be achieved for now because you have to focus on your financial stability. Or maybe you’re afraid that there’ll be no much time left to spend with your children if you choose to study. Well, it’s always consequences for everything that we choose, isn’t it?

Concert? What’s a concert?

Maybe in our young-and-wild era, we were those teenagers who were willing to go here and there just to saw a gig for our favorite singer or band. But now? Maybe (sometimes) we should just forget about it. The happy moment changes, from dancing and singing all night with friends to just hugging and playing along with your children and your spouse. And it is normal.

I know there are parents out there who still can getting their master's degree, going holiday with friends, or singing along in the concert. And of course, I understand it so much cause every family has their own way to build their family as they want to. We, as an outsider, just have to watch and wish the best for them 😊

Being a parent doesn’t mean we lose ourselves. We are still allowed to have a dream, buy things that we longing so much, or listening to our favorite songs (even it's Kpop, metal, dangdut, you name it). Of course, the priorities change, but that doesn’t mean that we must forget our true selves, no?

So, be happy my fellow parents! We’re going through this beautiful yet hard yet important phase in our life 💜

Thank you for reading!

With 💜,

NSW